Man denies existence of dead people, tells them to "Get a life"

This post is from the Satire category.

You’ve heard of climate change deniers, gravity deniers, and Australia deniers, but we have just interviewed one man who denies the existence of death:

It’s made up. I’ve never died in my life, and I’m 43. I’ve never even talked to a dead person; every person I’ve met was alive.

He proceeded to describe the conspiracy theory backing his beliefs:

We’re told that if we don’t work to survive, we’ll die, but like I said, I’ve never even talked to a person who died. These fakers are lazy - they would rather lay in their coffins than go out and touch grass. They need to get a life.

When our interviewer asked him, “If people never die, how do you explain why the world doesn’t overpopulate exponentially?” the man replied,

Overpopulate? Like, from reproduction? I don’t believe that happens either. I’ve never done that.